


Moonlight Shadow

by Two_Guns_And_A_Knife



Series: The Eloquent Silence [2]
Category: Stephanie Plum - Janet Evanovich
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-11
Updated: 2012-08-11
Packaged: 2017-11-11 21:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Two_Guns_And_A_Knife/pseuds/Two_Guns_And_A_Knife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The complete story of Silent Spring.<br/>Stephanie Plum chose to become Mrs. Joe Morelli but found that there was no HEA in Cupcake Land. Ranger moved on and met someone else. Theme Songs: Desert Moon by Dennis DeYoung and Moonlight Shadow by Mike Oldfield.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Prologue**

**~Desert Moon~**

The smile froze on Stephanie Morelli's face as she stood by her husband's side and right in front of the man she had once or maybe still loved. 4 years. She hadn't seen or heard from Ranger for more than 4 long years. Ever since the moment she put Ranger's keys inside an envelope and FedEx it back to him, and then jumped on a plane heading to Las Vegas to get married to Joe Morelli. Ranger looked just as perfect as ever. Stephanie secretly sighed. She had never thought or wanted to meet Ranger again like this. Both she and Joe—whose hair had already started graying and thinning—had gained more than a few pounds, and she was fairly certain she had lost a considerable portion of her charm.

She knew she should say something. A polite "I haven't seen you in ages". A warm "How have you been?". Or a surprised "Oh my God, you look just the same". People around them, close friends and almost strangers alike, were now nudging each other and discreetly tilting their heads toward the three of them. People were watching and waiting for something, anything, to happen. People would be listening in to their conversation. People were holding their breath for the awkward moment. Yes, awkward. Meeting like this after all these years was plain and simple awkward—or even embarrassing—for Stephanie. She didn't want Ranger to see her double chin. She didn't want Ranger to see her fattened waist. She didn't want Ranger to see the lines around her eyes and the more and more apparent wrinkles on her forehead and cheeks. She didn't want him to see her imperfection. She wanted Ranger to remember her as she once was. Young, sexy, cute, attractive, and fit...

A sick feeling started building inside the pit of Stephanie's stomach the moment she caught sight of the smug look on her husband's face. All of a sudden she became ashamed. Joe was doing this on purpose. He'd spotted Ranger in the crowd and decided to drag her all the way across the party hall just to brag. He wanted to show the whole fucking world he was the true and real winner of their never-ending cat and mouse game. She was the grand prize and trophy. The rose gold and diamond wedding ring on her finger would serve as the solid living proof of his ultimate victory. And Ranger, the man who had never ever hesitated to help and protect her in the past, was the loser who'd had to walk away empty-handed. She so wanted to shout at the top of her voice and tell Joe Morelli to stop being so childish and immature right now and grow up. She so wanted to tell him life was so NOT high school musical. But she was just too afraid to make a scene in front of all these people. It was no secret that she and Joe were never exactly the prince and princess in fairy tales. And she'd already had plenty of problems in her life right now.

She longed to look straight into Ranger's eyes to see what he felt about her. Did he still consider her as a friend? Did he still...love her in his own way? She was dying to know the answer. She couldn't dare to know the answer. Yes, she knew she still loved Ranger. But now he was so close yet so far away. And he no longer smelled like Bvlgari...Stephanie's heart sank into a cold dark abyss as she saw the simple elegant platinum ring around Ranger's ring finger. Hot burning tears threatened to flood down her face the moment a breathtakingly beautiful young woman with enchanting green eyes and wavy long blonde hair appeared out of nowhere and slipped her arm through Ranger's. And there on her slender hand around her ring finger was a ring—a simple elegant platinum ring exactly the same as Ranger's. And her baby bump was showing.

Ranger had moved on. Ranger had met someone else. Ranger had become family material. Ranger's love now came with a ring. Ranger now did ordinary things like marriage and babies. And she was so perfect...she was so pretty...she was just like a princess fresh out of a fairy tale...

Stephanie Morelli smiled her pleasant but forlorn smile. She politely nodded and exchanged greetings with Ranger and his wife. She didn't try to pull away when Joe tightened his hold of her, made a sudden excuse and turned to leave with a soured look on his contorted face. They didn't speak on the drive back home. They didn't speak when they went upstairs to bed. They didn't have sex that night. They didn't fall asleep till a couple hours before dawn. And when she finally woke up late in the morning Joe was long gone.

She was all alone.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One  
**

**~They Said First Love Never Runs Dry~**

Stephanie swallows her sorrow, dries her tears and restarts the car to go to work. And for the first time of her life, the heavenly aroma inside Tasty Bakery fails to make her smile. She quickly changes into her uniform and takes her position behind the counter. None of her co-workers or the customers asks about her puffy eyes and reddened nose. Everyone knows about all the unpleasant details of her daily life. Nobody wants to get involved. They are friends, distant relatives or neighbors to both sides. They want to stay neutral. Though they all know Joe has been cheating on her for nearly two years. With lots of different blonde women. And this time he seems to be serious. Rumour has it that he's going to ask for a divorce sometime within this week. The young barmaid from some redneck state wants a diamond on her finger before popping out little Morellis. They feel sorry for Stephanie, but are only too relieved that she keeps it all to herself. They all have their own lives and troubles to worry about. And some of them secretly think that Stephanie has it coming. Joe may have a shining police badge, but he's still a Morelli. And life is a really mean bitch for those who foolish enough to marry a Morelli man.

Stephanie tries to concentrate on her work. She knows perfectly what people say and think about her joke of a marriage. It doesn't bother her too much—or at all. Because she actually agrees with them: It was all her fault. She made a stupid mistake. A wrong decision. She has no one but herself to blame. And whether she likes it or not, now it's time to pay the price. She forces herself to smile, and greets and chats with the customers. She can't afford to lose this job. She also needs to find another part-time job and a place to live as soon as possible. She knows Joe won't give the house to her, and the amount of the alimony won't be handsome. The ever so kind-hearted Albert has promised to represent her free-of-charge and offers her a room in their house, but she can't stay with them forever. She'll have to learn to stand on her own from now on. She really has no other choice.

She feels more exhausted than ever when her shift is over. She tried too hard to smile and to be cheerful. She drives past Pino's on her way home but doesn't stop. She misses their meatball sub so much. But she needs to save every penny from now on. She unlocks the front door and turns on the light in the living room. Bob is peacefully asleep in his bed. Her mother-in-law left her a large plate of homemade lasagna and half a coffee cake. Angie Morelli is feeling guilty about her son's behavior. But both she and Bella have been dreaming for a little Joseph for so long. They can't help praying that Betsy—yes, everybody in the Morelli family knows the 26-year-old natural blonde woman from Alabama pretty well right now— can give Joe a child.

Stephanie turns of the TV and starts eating her dinner. She stares at the screen, listening to Michael Kay and Al Leiter discuss the Yankees pitching staff, but the calm soft familiar voice that has been haunting her just keeps on sounding in her head.

 _"Look at me, Babe_. _I'm carrying two guns and a knife. At this point in my life, I'm not exactly family material."_

Does Ranger call her Babe? Stephanie keeps on chewing.

Does she feel the same tingle on the back of her neck whenever Ranger is near? Stephanie looks at Derek Jeter's smiling face.

Does she call him Ranger? A-Rod hits into another double play.

Does she call him Carlos? God. The Yankees suck.

When did Ranger reach the point when he officially became family material? The coffee cake is really yummy.

Does he...does he still carry two guns and a knife? A drop of tear escapes.

Another one soon follows.

She hates feeling regret...


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two  
**

**~Whisper Of The Summer Night~**

He steps into the empty 7th floor apartment and quietly locks the door behind him. He will spend the night here though he wishes to return to his family. He drops his keys onto the silver plate and heads for the bedroom. He has an early meeting tomorrow morning. Everything is clean and orderly and in its place, as always. Including the new couch and the new bed Ella chose for him 6 years ago. He found it necessary to mark the end of a period. Stephanie made her decision. He respected that. And he almost smiled when he opened the envelope and found his keys inside. Typical Stephanie Plum. Never a big fan of any kind of confrontation. And creative. Too bad Morelli will never truly appreciate her. But that's a problem they two of them have to solve together, as husband and wife. It's no more—and shouldn't be—his concern. Everybody has to live with their own decisions, he always believes. But still he can't help feeling sorry and worried for her from time to time. Old habits die hard, indeed.

Ranger takes off his clothes and heads for the shower. It's being a long day and he's tired. Business is good and steadily growing. Tank and the senior staff have been doing a great job. The new hires are hardworking and quick learners. And being a father of two little twin boys is fun and more challenging than he imagined. He turns off the water and dries himself. He never thought he would one day again be a father. He always and still feels guilty for messing up Julie's life. He never thought about starting a serious relationship. He never thought he would want to have a family. But sometimes things happen and change. You met someone and fell in love. She gave up everything to love you back. Though you still loved your freedom and wanted no burden, though you still couldn't afford and didn't need to have something, anything, to hold you back, you didn't hesitate to grasp hold of her hand and take the chance. And 3 months later she looked up at you with those beautiful green eyes and dazedly whispered, "I'm pregnant."

The world spinning around you and stood still. You tried to find your voice but failed. You knelt down before her. You held her hands in yours. You sensed all her worries, all her fear, all her amazement and wonder. Because you felt just the same. You were happy. You were grateful. You were a just little frightened and maybe a bit scared. But deep down somewhere within you knew you were ready and prepared. So you smiled your rare full on 1000 Watt smile as you felt the Bvlgari wedding ring on her finger and said, "Babe." And you knew your life was now finally complete the moment you looked into her eyes and saw that she loved you more than her own life.

Ranger picks up the phone and dials home. He wants to hear his loved ones' voices before goes to sleep. He's no Batman. He's juts human. He does have feelings and can be hurt deeply. He's smart, brave and clever. He's the proud and discreet owner of an extremely successful security company. And now he's also a loving father, as well as a loyal husband. Yes, people do change, and move forward.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

**~Dreamer, Only Dreamers~**

Joe Morelli doesn't want to leave this small shabby apartment. He wants to stay with the woman he's in love with as long as possible. He knows he needs to go home. He needs to tell Stephanie he wants a divorce. And he knows for a fact that she will not object. They are both too tired and too exhausted. 6 long years of marriage. A lot of sex. Endless fights and quarrels. But sadly no kids. He loves children. He always wants to be a father. And now he can hear the invisible clock ticking every minute of the day and night. He will turn 44 in a couple months. He can't afford to wait any longer. He's more than sure that Betsy, the healthy energetic and sexy as Hell beautiful woman from Birmingham, will have no problem giving him a bunch of little Morellis. Don't ask him why. He just knows it. He empties the glass of vodka in one gulp and smiles to himself. Cheers, he's gonna be a daddy. Both he and Betsy agree that it will be fun to have 5 or 6, or maybe 7 kids. And they will live happily ever after as a happy big family. With a new puppy...

Thinking of Bob brings tears to Morelli's eyes. He wants to hold his loyal pet tightly in his arms and pray for a miracle, but he knows the big orange dog's time is up. He simply can't bear the sight of his sick old pal dragging on day after day waiting for death to come. He doesn't wants to remember the goofy playful friendly beast like this. And he has never felt so relieved when Stephanie told him in the flat emotionless voice of hers that she will take care of...everything. He reluctantly stands up from the comfy brand new couch he bought Betsy as a surprise gift, kisses her goodbye and leaves for home.

He has not a clue when his love and obsession for Stephanie grew cold. He doesn't even remember when he stopped calling her Cupcake. And he's really not that interested in the answers. It doesn't matter now. Not anymore. Sometimes love just dies or gets lost in everyday life, and there's no need to ask why. Now he's ready to move on and start a new life with someone else. What's the point wasting his time asking meaningless questions? He knows Stephanie still loves Ranger. He knows Stephanie still wants Ranger. He knows Stephanie was still silently crying her heart out when he finally fell asleep that fatal night 2 years ago. And truth be told, he felt like weeping himself. Once again he lost to Ranger. In front of everybody. In front of Stephanie...

He fought hard to get back in shape. He went to see a doctor about the bald spot on top of his head. He practiced his charming smile. He made the most of his melted chocolate bedroom eyes. Finally he met Betsy one night in the bar where she worked, and then everything fell into place nicely. He can tell both Grandma Bella and his mother really like Betsy. The divorce lawyer recommended by one of his drinking buddies is a shark. He's about to get a pay raise and promotion. And, no, he doesn't feel guilty or sorry about his actions. He's a man. He has needs. It's not his fault Stephanie can't bear him children. And what's so wrong wanting a dream life that comes with a new beginning? And who knows, maybe Ranger will divorce his wife and take Stephanie back.

Joe Morelli lets out a bark of breathless raspy laughter and unconsciously steps harder on the gas. His brand new cherry-red Ford Fiesta flies through a red light and slams into a speeding 18 wheeler.

And he dies on the way to hospital.


	5. Chapter Four

****Chapter Four  
** **

****~Words We Longed To Hear~** **

Stephanie falls asleep on the couch. She's dreaming of her mother and Rex when the ringing of the phone tears through the night and wakes her up. It takes her a while to be fully awake and answer the phone. And she doesn't cry. For she can't find any tears. She sits there listening to the person on the other end of the line telling her how sorry he is. Accident. Car crash. An 18 wheeler. Joe is dead. On the way to St. Francis. She's a widow now. They, the whole TPD, will take care of things and help her through the best they can. She keeps on listening and remains silent. She doesn't know what to say. She can't find her voice. And she doesn't feel sad. She's not numb. She's not shocked. She's not happy. She's not thrilled. She's just not sad. She doesn't feel like crying. She doesn't feel like asking questions. She doesn't feel like feeling anything. She knows it's real. She knows it's not a is still breathing. Bob is still sleeping. But Joe is already dead. How weird.

She looks toward the front door of the 2-story house and almost smiles. She doesn't have to move out now. He won't unlock the door and come in to tell her he wants a divorce. Betsy Singleton is not going to become the new Mrs. Joe Morelli. And Stephanie doesn't...no, she may still have to find a second part-time job. She's going to have plenty of spare time on her hands from now on. Stephanie Morelli closes her eyes and once again forces herself to feel. And instead of sadness, she feels relieved. She stopped cooking her husband dinner a long time ago. She never cooked the spaghetti right. She always forgot to put in extra garlic and fresh basil. And he didn't like her favorite brand of olive oil. Then one day he ran out of excuses and simply stopped coming home for dinner. She knew he was having an affair. But she was too tired to care. They had been together for so long that whatever they once had between them became too thin, too pale, and too cliché. And no matter what the doctors said, Joe still believed it was all her fault that they had no children of their own. And Stephanie couldn't help resenting him for that.

And thus life went on. He still wanted to be a father. She started doubting if she really wanted to be a mother. He spent his nights with pretty young women. She ate her dinner in front of the TV while listening to Bob's breathing. They didn't mean to stop talking. But there was nothing left to say between them. So they drifted apart. Just like that. Stephanie blows a sigh. She will have to call Joe's elder brother. Angie will break apart and maybe even faint. And she doesn't have the heart and courage to think of Bella's reaction. She turns off the TV and dials. She doesn't have the strength to wipe away her sudden tears.

She's a widow now. She's free. Finally.


	6. Chapter Five

****Chapter Five  
** **

****~Dreams We Lost Or Given Up~** **

Stephanie calmly sits there in the front row with not a drop of tear in her eyes. The funeral is not grand or small, but quiet and awkward. Just as expected. Nobody knows what to say to her. Everyone knows Joe was not exactly a good and loyal husband, but they have all kept their silence for too long and now they find it embarrassing to hug her and say things like "I feel for you" or "I'm sorry for your loss". Stephanie doesn't care that much, though. She still doesn't feel a thing. About Joe's death. She knows she's supposed to be sad and maybe devastated, but she doesn't feel like pretending anymore. This neighborhood, this city, has heard so many rumours that it now has the ability to see through lies. And she's sure people, especially her in-laws, will understand why she doesn't shed a tear.

She listens half-heartedly to the whispers around her and thinks of Betsy Singleton. Instead of a fatherless baby, the younger woman is left with some cheap jewelry and several pieces of furniture Joe bought her. Stephanie is truly glad of that. Children can be a blessing and a burden at the same time. It will be much easier for the both of them to move on and restart their lives.

The weather is lovely today, she notices, perfect for an occasion like this. She looks at Joe's photo and thinks of Bob and her father's new love interest. She hears Angie's heartbroken sobbing and thinks of her conversation with Connie over the phone last week. Lula has wanted to come, but her 9-year-old stepson Derek is down with flu and she can't leave the boy's side. Stephanie smiles upon recalling the worry in her old sidekick's voice. She feels happy for her friends. She really does. But sometimes she can't help feeling a bit jealous and lonely.

Maybe she should sell the house and move somewhere else. Somewhere always warm and sunny. Somewhere strange and exotic. Somewhere she can sleep under the moon and dream under the stars. Somewhere she won't wake up everyday and think of all the mistakes she has ever made in her messed-up life. She clasps her hands together and closes her eyes. She's suddenly tired. And afraid. She wishes she knows what tomorrow will bring. She wishes Bob doesn't have to die. She misses her mother. She misses Rex. And she misses...she misses...

The white orchids sent by RangeMan is so beautiful. She almost burst into tears the moment she picked up the phone and heard Tank's voice. "Don't hesitate to call me if you need help." Tank said. And just like Ranger, he didn't say goodbye. Stephanie tries not to cry. She knows why Ranger decided to let Tank make the call. She knows it's too late now. He has a family. He belongs to someone else. But still she misses his voice. She misses his smile. She misses him. Stephanie blinks back her tears.

There is no return now.

* * *


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

**~Carried Away By The Moonlight Shadow~**

Stephanie leaves the vet clinic and stops at a new doughnut place on the way home. She holds her coffee with both hands and stares out of the window. All around her people are talking or laughing, but what she hears is a deafening silence. Bob is gone. He will no longer suffer. That's the only thing that matters. Once again she tells herself. She's no stranger to loneliness, death and sorrow. She knows how to get on with her life. But the rapidly growing hole within her heart refuses to be ignored. She misses the sound of Bob's breathing. She misses Bob's goofy smile. She misses his warmth and trusting eyes. She hopes there was more she could do. She prays she didn't make a wrong decision. She hates feeling this helpless. And she doesn't want to go home alone.

Home?

She almost smiles. The 2-story house has already stopped feeling like a home to her. It has a lot of memories, too much memories, as a matter of fact. And now, without Bob, it'll be nothing but the place where she lives. For now.

Yes, she's going to sell the house and finds herself a new home. Probably in a new town, a new city, where she knows no one and no one knows her. She needs a brand new start. She wants to forget about the past, about those who she hates, and those who she loves but can not have...

Maybe she will pay Connie a visit. Maybe she will then go to Seattle to watch Ichiro rob someone of a homerun. Maybe she will take a trip to Alaska or Canada. Maybe she will learn to live on her own. Maybe she will meet someone else. Maybe she can finally let go and move on.

She takes a sip of the lukewarm coffee and starts eating the chocolate-caramel doughnut. She didn't cry when Bob stopped breathing. She didn't want her big orange dog to worry about her. She nodded and answered the vet's questions and made the necessary arrangements afterward but she wasn't really listening or paying attention. She keeps on chewing the sweet pastry. She tries not to think of her life. She tries not to think of the vast emptiness that's going to greet her the moment she unlocks the front door. She finishes her coffee and wonders if Bob has already made friends in Doggie Heaven.

She stands up and makes her decision. She's going to go home and call the realtors. There's nothing for her here. Not any more.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

**~Man In The Rain~**

She watches him playing with their twin sons and smiles. Why does he love her? She sometimes wonders. Even though she already knows the answer. She's glad the boys have his hair and eyes. She never likes being blonde. She never likes how she looks. And she flat-out hates being judged by her appearance.

She's not sweet. She's not naïve. She does have a temper and she was never into marriage or children. She loved her solitude. She enjoyed her freedom. She wanted no burden. She wanted no obligation. She wanted to be free with no strings attached. She'd never thought one day she would fall in love and change the course of her life for the man she loves. And now here she is. A mother of two and a loving wife. Ready to sacrifice for the man and the boys she treasures more than her own life.

A ray of sunlight catches the ring around his finger. Her eyes fall upon his hand. Large. Steady. Warm. And firm. He sometimes reminds her of a cat. A big, feral cat that is no stranger to danger and is always alert and prepared to react and fight. Silent. Patient. Independent. Practical. And smart. He takes what he needs and knows what he wants. He never shrinks from his duty or a necessary fight. He pays attention. He focuses on the details as well as the big picture. He may not always agree but he always listens. He says so little but cares so much. And he never lies to her.

She thinks of the night they first met. She thinks of the morning she woke up to realize her love for him. She thinks of the emotion she saw in his eyes. He looks up and gives her a smile. She wraps her arms around him and kisses him back. She's always true with her feelings. She's always honest with him and herself.

And sometimes she just can't help feeling sorry for him and Stephanie Plum.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**~Some Love Is Just A Lie Of The Soul~**

Stephanie breathes in the fresh morning air. The rain has stopped in the middle of the night. The streets are quiet at this early hour. She takes a step toward her car, stops, and turns around to look back at the now empty 2-story house. For a last time. The house is already sold to a nice couple from Korea, and they are all happy with the price. She will start her journey now. Her first stop is Philadelphia. She's looking forward to meeting Lula and her happy little family.

She gets in and starts her brand new silver Audi. It's a present for herself(thankfully Joe knew the importance of saving money. She has also donated some money to a local No-Kill animal shelter. She misses Bob and Rex terribly and is not yet ready for a new pet). She has already said goodbye to her family and friends. Somehow she's not as sad as she thought and instead feels happy and greatly relieved. The memories are too heavy to carry, so she has chosen to leave them behind.

She's now Stephanie Plum again. She sold her diamond wedding ring last week and has also lost some weight. However, nobody knows where Joe's wedding ring is. He took it off his finger sometime long before his death. Maybe he sold it. Maybe he lost it. She didn't care then. She doesn't care now. And she didn't even bother to ask when she first noticed its absence. They both knew their marriage was doomed. Stephanie turns on the radio and sings along with Billy Joel's _**Say Goodbye to Hollywood**_ —She always loves his songs and voice—and stops singing and falls silent when Bryan Adams's **_**Heaven**_ ** starts to play.

It's such a beautiful day. Just perfect for her brand new start. She doesn't want anything to ruin it. She doesn't want to feel any regret. She stops at a small café to have some breakfast. The coffee is good. The food reminds her of her mother. She smiles at the little kid at the next table and gives him a small finger wave. She sits for a long time at the window-side table and leaves the tired-looking 50-something waitress a handsome tip. She starts the car and doesn't turn on the radio. But the song keeps singing in her head. All the way to the City of Brotherly Love.

_Once in your life you find someone_

_Who will turn your world around_

_Bring you up when you're feelin' down_

She keeps her eyes on the road, refusing to let her tears fall. But somehow she just can't stop thinking of what she has lost. She's Stephanie Plum, a 41-year-old widow. And she has lost the man she truly loves a long long time ago.

**~The End~**


End file.
